I don’t want to victim-blame or anything, but I can’t help but feel that some of your life choices may have contributed to this state of affairs.
Every time I type your url to stalk your blog I accidentally start off with ned instead of bed and so now I associate you with ned flanders oops :/
This crazy iMessage app lets you prank friends by putting words in their mouth
This crazy iMessage app lets you prank friends by putting words in their mouth
TL;DR: Some genius has pioneered gaslighting via instant messaging. Making an iMessage sticker pack is relatively trivial, so using his technique, it wouldn’t take much to go through old conversations with someone and quietly edit things so it reads completely differently than she remembers.
That’s 2016, girls. Your minds are not your own.
No darling, never. I’m a firm believer in placing my trash in the appropriate receptacle when disposing of it.
Some of us actually care about the environment, y’know?
Debate Summary
Trump: Garble gibble blather blibble and– which you should know was amazing, and I’m very proud, very proud– durh hurh blrh confused coke-fiend sniff grimace period, end of story.
Hillary: Don’t say “fuck you”, don’t say “fuck you”, don’t say “fuck you.”
I suspect Verizon may have some issues with this sort of thing.
I don’t think the Warheads people will care so much, though, since they’re, y’know… sadists.
Work In Progress
I’m trying to relocate my Tumblr sea legs, so you’re going to see lots of quippy garbage and grossly inappropriate flirting with pretty girls young enough to be my daughters, from now until TBD. If this displeases you, well, thou hast my leave to go to France, Laertes.
Also, if you’re one of said pretty girls and I write something that icks you out, let me know and I’ll nuke it. I’m trying to fix me, not fuck with you.
beat me and baby me 🍼
[pushes you down stairs]
What, you gonna cry now? You gonna cry, big baby? Why does your shoulder look like that, ya freaky li’l baby-head? I figured you had a soft spot on your skull, but I didn’t know your joints were made of taffy, too. Yeah, I bet it does hurt, but I don’t want to spoil you by running to you every time you scream, so I’m gonna go take a nap until I think you’ve learned your lesson.
Kids today…
Good lord I hope you’re in England. How I’d love to meet you 😍
dumbbigtittedslut-deactivated20:
I wish I was. All the best slags are British.
Don’t talk like that. Our sluts may not have a slag’s Old World charm and millennium of bad breeding, but no one works harder at whoring than the good ol’ North American skank.
A Guide To Cranky Old Men #1
(I realize that many of you are emotional dunces, and don’t have the first clue how to talk coherently with any adult male, much less one who scares you a little. So I figured I’d start compiling a series of helpful tips that will make our interactions as painless as possible. For me.)
TIP : If you want to talk to me and you’re a cunt, just say so. Otherwise, I’m going to waste my time politely conversing with you like you’re a person or something, and hell, that benefits no one. I don’t want to inflict the more… presumptuous aspects of my personality on innocent strangers, so that means you need to tell me when you’re not.
Innocent, I mean. It’s kind of a given that you’re strange.