Seriously though, votes: is the gape gif hot or gross? I’m not sure what I think 😕
Damn it, why does every GIF of a girl prying open her butthole until it blooms have to be “hot” or “gross”? Why can’t it just be informative?
I’m sorry, but I reject the unrealistic expectations that society has placed on your pooper!
Had a dream last night you were spanking me with a hairbrush. I asked if this counts as cheating on my boyfriend and you said no. I said: “keep the jeans on, that way it doesn’t count as cheating”.
Silly boyfriends. They should worry less about me getting into their girlfriends’ pants, and worry more about me getting into their girlfriends’ heads.
My dick has never once taken a woman from another man. But those things I whisper in her ear when he’s not around, the way I make her feel like a scared little girl who just can’t help herself…? That shit will absolutely ruin her for him.
Girls are programmed to overlook, excuse, and forget bad dick. Bad thoughts, on the other hand? They hold on to those forever.
Which is my way of saying, I don’t think a little denim is going to preserve your virtue. Given that you’re writing me, I suspect you’re running a quart or two low as it is.
Had a dream last night you were spanking me with a hairbrush. I asked if this counts as cheating on my boyfriend and you said no. I said: “keep the jeans on, that way it doesn’t count as cheating”.
Silly boyfriends. They should worry less about me getting into their girlfriends’ pants, and worry more about me getting into their girlfriends’ heads.
My dick has never once taken a woman from another man. But those things I whisper in her ear when he’s not around, the way I make her feel like a scared little girl who just can’t help herself…? That shit will absolutely ruin her for him.
Girls are programmed to overlook, excuse, and forget bad dick. Bad thoughts, on the other hand? They hold on to those forever.
Which is my way of saying, I don’t think a little denim is going to preserve your virtue. Given that you’re writing me, I suspect you’re running a quart or two low as it is.
If you’re not hearing it, you’re not being it.
Okay Xkit, you and I are officially over. You have mangled a post for the last time. and now we are sworn enemies. Have at thee!
UPDATE: I’m talking Xkit for iPad, which I damned well know is abandonware, and have bitched about before, but have persisted in using because my finicky ass prefers a full-screen activity log to the official Tumblr app’s teeny little pop-up. Time to get over it, I guess.
copyright © 2016 BedtimeStoriesForBrokenGirls.com
Fuck this weather.
Temperatures above 68 degrees Fahrenheit are for girls and swimming pools.
“Phoning it in” suggests a lack of effort. This isn’t that.
No one wants to hear a grown man –particularly this one– drone on about his personal miseries and travails, and since misery and travail seem to be my default states at this point, I try to spare you all the spectacle. So I experiment, and riff, and try to think of ways to make something I give a shit about.
In short: you’re getting what I’ve got. Fuck off if it’s not good enough.
