honestly I’m more attracted to your twisted sense of humour and the fact that I believe you actually look like Mr. Blonde than the “i only fuck broken girls” thing

1. I’m good with that. If we factor my penis out of the equation, making a woman laugh is just as satisfying as making a skank cry.

2. In the immortal words of Journey’s Steve Perry: don’t stop believin’.

3. In fairness, it’s not as if I have a rule against screwing emotionally competent women; smart, stable girls have their obvious charms. I simply haven’t known that many; whether due to my background, my vibe, or a statistical anomaly, whole girls have seldom lined up to ride this ride.

Hi.

When I was in third grade —in the ’70s— I tried to convince a pretty, blond girl in my class to do a strip show for the boys. Negotiations broke down over venue availability, but prior to that, I had an in-principle deal netting myself a front row seat and 50% of the gate.

Which means yes, I do think some men are genetically predisposed to be pimps. Does that answer your question?

The scary thing about a roller-coaster isn’t the dizzying speed, the sudden turns, or even the steep drops. It’s knowing you’ve said “yes” to something you can’t stop.

Scream, cry, beg, pray… it doesn’t matter. No one will hear you, or care if they do. Hell, they’ll probably laugh. You made your choice; even if it feels as if every part of you is tearing itself away from every other part in an effort to escape, you’re there until the ride is over. You don’t get to ruin everyone else’s good time just because you’ve had enough, silly girl.

So when it’s finished, and they make you look at a photo of your face at the precise moment you truly feared you would die, just remember… you asked for it.