The ‘90s were a tough time for Cyndi Lauper.
Look at yourself. Seriously, look.
You’re not even tied up, for fuck’s sake; I just handed you a baseball bat and you somehow got tangled on it. I can accept that you’re not bright, but, well… there’s a limit, y’know? You’re an obedient set of holes, but you’re also twenty-four years old and apparently unqualified to play with fucking sticks.
Jesus.
On the other hand, it should be easy to discard you when I’ve used you up. I can just walk you into a revolving door at the mall and let nature take its course.
Poor little thing. That’s what happens when you hang around men who only have a conscience when you’re conscious.
Boys don’t like me because I’d rather flirt with their fathers than them
bet the fathers like you. I know I would. Flirt with me, or better yet, have sex with me, I’m father age.
I would make fun of you for your poorly worded attempt of trying to harass me, but I cannot get over the fact that your url is oldnakedguy and therefore I do not think I have to make fun of you at all
Someone needs to.
“Have sex with me, I’m father age.”
Jesus Christ, that’s just spectacular.
- Have sex with me, I’m underwater on my mortgage.
- Have sex with me, my prostate is huge.
- Have sex with me, my nose hair is out of control.
Priceless.
A splendid idea! You be the Princess, and I’ll be the Revolting Peasant who kicks down your bedroom door, drags you into the street, and makes you pay for all the wrongs in the world.
God thank you you summed up exactly how I need to feel.
On behalf of myself and God, you’re welcome.
I adore your blog. It definitely helps me tucker out myself some nights and early mornings. <3 an equally creepy 24yo cunt
I’ve already been told that the blog causes orgasm and reduces anxiety; now you’re saying it’s a workout routine, too. Hm.
If I can figure out how to get eight essential vitamins and minerals into this bitch, I’m taking it to the FDA.
Was ever woman in this humor woo’d?
Was ever woman in this humor won?
I’ll have her, but I will not keep her long.
That’s from my favorite scene in Richard III, which I love because it beautifully captures the gleeful satisfaction to be had from watching a woman betray herself for a man.
It also reminds me of how society teaches its girls to follow their hearts, and how that teaching somehow never takes into account the many broken, fucked-up, and mangled hearts in the world, nor how those tortured little atrocities in their chests can lead some women down all the wrong roads.
But you already know that, right? If you were one of the girls on the right road, you’d never have found me.
The applause her pussy needs is the applause it deserves; give her an ovation that stings as she sings.
Don’t try to give me your busywork, cunt. You want to die, do it on your own time.
Now, your dreams and self-esteem, on the other hand…? I will murder that shit for you, pro bono.