Portable urinals. When you just don’t feel like using the regular urinal, bring a woman to the party.
Especially a blonde one. I don’t know why, but they make the most satisfying urinals of all.
See? I told you guys blondes have more fun!
You realize, of course, that once I’m done pissing on you, you’re walking the fuck home. I’m not going to be seen associating with a damp and reeking gutter cunt in public, and you’re not getting back in the car like that.
On second thought, I have a compromise. Just strip down in the parking lot, throw your clothes in the trunk, and slather on some Purell. Maybe if you blow me with sufficient gusto, I’ll forget how disgusted I am that you let me do any of this to you in the first place, you messed-up little headcase.
