This is what happens to girls who call me “asshole” one too many times.
The parts I don’t cut are the parts I like. So do everything you can to ensure I like every inch of you, cunt.
All I ask is perfection. It’s the least you can do for me.
I want to put my dick in you, make no mistake.
But it’s my hands that are really hungry.
I am not sure she agreed to this… I think he may be just taking her ass.
Similar to software packages and online services, my house includes a user license and TOS. By entering, you’ve already agreed to be violated and abused, and you waive all rights to whine like a little bitch afterward.
If I knock you up or give you herpes, you must seek redress through arbitration, with an arbiter of my choosing, at a remote outpost in Antarctica. Damages are limited to whatever lint I happen to have in my pocket that day.
Bras are expensive. Remember that when you look her in the eyes and cut it off her.
Pretty bows are important to a cunt. Once you’ve beaten her, choked her, and violated every orifice, they’re all the pretty she has left.
Do you know the difference between a dog and a woman? Well neither do I.
Dogs are loyal companions, and smart enough to know their place without needing to beat them. Also, I don’t fuck dogs because I have too much respect for their agency as individual beings.
Women? Not so much.
Pretzels and crackers? Goddammit, who’s feeding this bitch people food again?
Self-Cleaning Toilets
Break’s over, whore. My toilet’s not going to clean itself. Get back to work.
Of course she can clean herself; just give her a urinal puck and a scrub brush.