I’ve put up with a lot. The drinking, the drugs… the men. You’re an addict, and I try not to expect too much from you. Your weakness defines you, and I knew that going in. It’s no one’s fault but my own that I set out on a quest to fix you, so I’ve never blamed you, no matter how much you’ve deserved it.… Read the rest “Growing Apart”
Her: “He wasn’t my kind of forty year old man.”
Me: “Your kind of forty year old man is a fifty year old man.”
Anon: “Brats are anti-you, but still in your opinion submissive right ? I agree with everything you said I guess I’m just asking for even more elaboration, sorry to be a bother. I know I’ve seen a lot of disagreement over it.”… Read the rest “”
Hey, folks. I thought I’d introduce you to this chick I know. Her name’s Cindy… she’s a foreign exchange student who came to live with me over Christmas.
I’m not exactly sure how old she is; somewhere around 15, I think.… Read the rest “”
You wanna step into my world
It’s a sociopsychotic state of bliss
You’ve been delayed in the real world
How many times have you hit and missed?
Your CAT scan shows disfiguration
I want to laugh myself to death
With a misfired synapse
With a bent configuration
I’ll hold the line while you gasp for breath
You want to talk to me?
Okay, leaving out Natural Born Killers and his brief segment of Sin City…
True Romance: Eh. No amount of QT magic can overcome the sheer Tony Scott-ness of the thing. It has its moments, and an impressive cast, but I haven’t returned to it since the 90s.… Read the rest “Thoughts on Quentin Tarantino’s movies?”
Me: Stupid sandman, shooting his stuff all over girls’ eyes in their sleep!
Her: …don’t sexualize the sandman! That’s like sexualizing the toothfairy or leprechauns or the Easter bunny!!
Me: Now I’m thinking about a gang-bang where a leprechaun tries to jam a pot of gold up your hoo-hah as the Easter bunny rabbit-fucks your face, knocking out a tooth that the tooth fairy pops in his mouth so he can lick it while he masturbates.… Read the rest “”
… Read the rest “”Life Lessons
I have learned that the single most dominant thing an old man can do to a young woman is force her to use email on a regular basis.
It’s like herding cats on to a frozen pond; if you can pull it off at all, you’re going to be treated to an incredible display of excitement and awkwardness.
When considered alongside you tiny titans of the touchscreen, I’m an amateur with emojis. I have only recently figured out what the fuck 🙌 is supposed to be, for example, and I’m so mystified by the intricately shaded messages implied by all of the heart-based emojis that when I receive one, I just file it under “someone wants to lick my brain, dick, or ass” and leave the particulars as a mystery to unfold.… Read the rest “”
