She has dreams, though she’d never tell you. Walking the beach, her hand held by a faceless man whose touches only comfort, and whose words only support. Wearing a perfect gown and tiara, while every gentleman in the room proceeds, in his turn, to spin her through the motions of a dance so graceful it makes her heart ache.… Read the rest “”
Search Results for: how old are you
A Commercial Entity
Hey there, baby! Daddy’s home from the bar, and, y’know what… he’s had an idea
I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ve had enough. Enough of you and the cyclone of bullshit that follows you around, dirtying or destroying everything you touch.… Read the rest “A Commercial Entity”
I think it’s cute that so many of you are surprised and/or disappointed when I’m polite, pay you a compliment, or otherwise treat you like you’re a human being. It’s as if you’re nervously expecting to be attacked by a rampaging sex-ogre, but instead end up getting a pat on the head from Shrek.… Read the rest “”
A million cold cash or you never see your little angel again
Eh. Easy enough to make a new one.
Doing Right
[CONTENT ADVISORY: Don’t believe the title. The title lies.]
I’m raping you because you’re pretty. It’s important you know that.
My sister isn’t pretty. She isn’t smart, either. And she sure as fuck isn’t lucky. She’s just a normal girl– but a couple guys grabbed her anyway, right up off the street.… Read the rest “Doing Right”
On Feminism
I greatly admire Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th President of the United States. For those who are unaware, there are two basic ways to describe him.
The first relies upon your imagination: summon before your mind’s eye a single human being whose physical, behavioral, and philosophical characteristics are a composite of every positive and negative cliché that springs to mind when you read the word “American”.… Read the rest “On Feminism”
Dear Bedtime #1
Someone recently asked if I thought she should cheat on her age-appropriate boyfriend with her much-older college professor. I decided to answer her publicly for the edification of all.
Dear Aspiring Tramp:
I seldom give advice, and when I do, it should always be assumed to come with a disclaimer indicating that I’m not an authority on jack-shit.… Read the rest “Dear Bedtime #1”
Dear Bedtime #1
Someone recently asked if I thought she should cheat on her age-appropriate boyfriend with her much-older college professor. I decided to answer her publicly for the edification of all.
Dear Aspiring Tramp:
I seldom give advice, and when I do, it should always be assumed to come with a disclaimer indicating that I’m not an authority on jack-shit.… Read the rest “”
I watched Into The Woods this weekend, which generated these thoughts:
- Johnny Depp leverages his career investments better than any actor on the planet. Aside from the goings-on at The Viper Room, he spent most of the ’90s as a pretty, vulnerable, quasi-sexual weirdo, building up a massive stockpile of quirky good will, which he now uses to infuse his array of murderous barbers, hateful chocolatiers, drunken pirates, bizarre racial stereotypes, and child predators with what would normally be an incongrous hint of harmless whimsy.
Dear Bedtime
[CONTENT ADVISORY: Don’t ask, just move along.]
In privately relating her deepest sexual desire, a woman recently apologized for boring me with something “too tame”, and I thought it would be nice to publicly (albeit anonymously) reassure her that I found it far from tame.… Read the rest “”