Be prepared to prove that you’re worth my time, ‘cause the world is full of broken things, and my day only has 24 hours. If you want any of them spent on your ridiculous ass, then I’d suggest you:
Be cute, do as you’re told, and give me a reason to care what becomes of you.
And then you‘ll find out.
They need heating pads and Hershey bars and head pats, and told to get their lazy, anxiety-ridden asses to the gyno if that shit ever becomes a persistent misery. ‘Cause girls are stupid enough to let their uteri fall out before they’ll make a fucking appointment to check for fibroids.… Read the rest “What’s your opinion about girls on their period?”
I obviously think about it. And there are bits and pieces already written.
I’ve got a couple chapters of a steampunk/alternate universe thing about a con-man named Paris who is hired by Thomas Alva Edison to assassainate Helen (of) Keller, who is secretly an electro-mechanically enhanced agent of the US shadow government.… Read the rest “You could write a book. You’re good enough at it and it’d be a hell of a lot better than that 50 shades bullshit everyone is hyping about.”
I immediately assumed Anon was mangling a George Michael reference.
Then I remembered I’m just old and no one makes George Michael references anymore.
A cute, obedient, and unencumbered thirtysomething has as good a shot with me as anyone.
I mean, this blog’s been here five years… I’ve slowly gone from “relatively, sort-of” old to full-on “holy shit this is happening” old. Fortunately, this simply means that a cunt in her early 30s can now convincingly pass as my daughter when I feel her up in public.… Read the rest “So you never go for women over thirty?”
It’s hardly my coinage. I probably picked it up from an issue of Hustler in 1989 and stored it away to be used 30 years later.
As an increasingly old man, I’ve forgotten many things —2004, for example— but by God, I remembered “cumsponge”.… Read the rest “cumsponge omg!!!! new fave word of your dictionary”
I really, really disliked The Witcher III, so Cyberpunk 2077 doesn’t interest me at all, Keanu or no Keanu.
And SPOILER ALERT: I’m old.
I have never once mentioned E3 on this blog, and rarely reference games in general, so… good guess.
Anyway, the answer is “kinda”. I mean, there’s no fucking way I’m sitting through any E3 press conference in its entirety these days —I don’t care enough, and the games aren’t good enough— but I do check out the “E3 in 11 minutes”-type videos on YouTube, on the off chance that something interesting catches my eye.… Read the rest “Don’t really know if this is the blog to ask, but did you watch E3 and is there anything you’re excited about? (Or the Nintendo direct….)”
Scolding.
When I’m on a roll and instructing her in the intricacy of her insufficiency, when she’s hollowed out and there’s nothing left inside her but “I’m sorry”… that’s the moment when all of the most beautiful things pass between us.
