We walked on the beach beside that old hotel
They’re tearing it down now
but it’s just as well
I haven’t shown you everything a man can do
So stay with me baby
I’ve got plans for you
 
—This Is The Time - Billy Joel

Hunters Gathered

[CONTENT NOTICE: If you’re unfamiliar with my stuff, this may not be the best place to start. Just sayin’.]

Hey, Skeeter! Whore’s comin’ ‘round!

Why, hi there, sleepy head! Nice of ya to finally join us. I was beginnin’ to wonder if you an’ me was gonna get a chance to chat before you move on.… Read the rest “Hunters Gathered”

Recently Watched

The Super Bowl: Probably the best SB I’ve watched live; I may not like Brady & Co., but they put on an amazing show. Same thing goes for Gaga, who delivered the best halftime show this side of Prince; subtly political but primarily energetic and fun.

… Read the rest

Down To Earth

Look at you, trussed up like an animal, painted like a whore, soaked in filth. It’s so obvious, but you’re too fucking deluded to see it.

When a man has to go to this much effort to make you interesting, you have a problem.… Read the rest “Down To Earth”

Promises, Promises

When your friends found out how I treat you, they tried to talk you out of ever coming back to me. They told you that I’m sick, and I must hate women. But you know I don’t hate women.

Just you.… Read the rest “Promises, Promises”

“Same Auld Ang Syne” — Dan Fogelberg

It was kind of cool, stumbling across this piece about Same Old Lang Syne. I wonder how many people have stories about how they discovered that particular song?

For me, I found it via an ex, around ‘92. It was winter, and our years-long relationship was almost over; it would have died naturally by the New Year, but as luck would have it, diamond jewelry has a way of dragging things out, and we survived until February.… Read the rest ““Same Auld Ang Syne” — Dan Fogelberg”

Okay, so, apparently, some girls don’t find it flattering when they fish for compliments and you tell them that they remind you of a 1,000 year old red priestess who uses the illusion of beauty to hide the gnarled husk of a woman she is inside.… Read the rest “”

Family Values Theater

showme-destruction:

bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls:

“Th-that was my mom. He– um, he died. M-my uncle… he died.”

“That’s terrible, sweetie. Take off your blouse.”

“I’m not— I’m not sure about everything… anything, really, but he was in an accident. In a car.

… Read the rest

Goal achieved

tinydoll:

when @bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls tells you that you look good 😏

I’ve been in this corner of Tumblr for what, three years now? And in that time, I don’t think I’ve told more than ten different chicks that they’re hot. Maybe twelve.… Read the rest “Goal achieved”

A Guide To Cranky Old Men

A lot of you want my attention. Very few of you have a clue how to get it, much less keep it. So here is a new installment of quick pro-tips that may (or may not) help you navigate into my orbit.… Read the rest “”