Did you ever wish you could filter your Tumblr activity feed on your iPad? Are you, for example, a chick with big, dumb tits and thousands of followers, who would like to be able to look at a blog activity report without wading through 1,001 Likes from uninteresting randoms, but have no idea how to do anything for yourself?… Read the rest “”
Search Results for: how old are you
Since it’s now clear that the US presidency is open to any misanthropic weirdo with a core constituency of broken, backwards fuck-ups who don’t understand how life works, I’m thinking about running myself in 2020. I’m quite confident that I could pull in the Angry White Male vote without resorting to racial division, international antagonism, or putting my name on any buildings.… Read the rest “”
Dear Bedtime #3
Had a dream last night you were spanking me with a hairbrush. I asked if this counts as cheating on my boyfriend and you said no. I said: “keep the jeans on, that way it doesn’t count as cheating”.
Silly boyfriends.… Read the rest “Dear Bedtime #3”
Dear Bedtime
… Read the rest “”Had a dream last night you were spanking me with a hairbrush. I asked if this counts as cheating on my boyfriend and you said no. I said: “keep the jeans on, that way it doesn’t count as cheating”.
Chill!
Oh, chill out, stupid! It won’t be that bad as long as you mind your place; I’m pretty sure you can do it, and I wouldn’t trust you with much at all. Luring you here was just a breeze, and actually securing you… I mean, what was that, really?… Read the rest “Chill!”
Family Values Theater
“Th-that was my mom. He– um, he died. M-my uncle… he died.”
“That’s terrible, sweetie. Take off your blouse.”
“I’m not— I’m not sure about everything… anything, really, but he was in an accident. In a car. Accident.”
“Oh no, I hope he didn’t suffer.… Read the rest “Family Values Theater”
Making A Monster Of Me
The first time I raped my wife should have been the last; I realize that. I also realize there never should have been a first time, but I’ve made peace with my… my failure, in that regard. It happened, and nothing could have stopped it; she worked too hard to turn the unspeakable into the inexorable.… Read the rest “Making A Monster Of Me”
We’re both disappointed in your body. We both hate your mother. We both wish you weren’t so fucking stupid. We both wonder how low you’ll sink for me, and if I’ll hold you under when you want to come up. We both know I’m sending you to hell, and we both know you deserve the flames.… Read the rest “”
You never should have told him.
Invasion (2005)
My life was pretty hectic in the mid-2000s, and my television-watching time was mostly swallowed up by Rome, Deadwood, and The Wire. So I should be pleased that it only took me ten years to finish watching Invasion; for comparison’s sake, it will probably be ten more before I bother to find out what happened after season two of Lost.… Read the rest “Invasion (2005)”