We’re both disappointed in your body. We both hate your mother. We both wish you weren’t so fucking stupid. We both wonder how low you’ll sink for me, and if I’ll hold you under when you want to come up. We both know I’m sending you to hell, and we both know you deserve the flames.… Read the rest “”
Search Results for: how old are you
You never should have told him.
Invasion (2005)
My life was pretty hectic in the mid-2000s, and my television-watching time was mostly swallowed up by Rome, Deadwood, and The Wire. So I should be pleased that it only took me ten years to finish watching Invasion; for comparison’s sake, it will probably be ten more before I bother to find out what happened after season two of Lost.… Read the rest “Invasion (2005)”
She has dreams, though she’d never tell you. Walking the beach, her hand held by a faceless man whose touches only comfort, and whose words only support. Wearing a perfect gown and tiara, while every gentleman in the room proceeds, in his turn, to spin her through the motions of a dance so graceful it makes her heart ache.… Read the rest “”
A Commercial Entity
Hey there, baby! Daddy’s home from the bar, and, y’know what… he’s had an idea
I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ve had enough. Enough of you and the cyclone of bullshit that follows you around, dirtying or destroying everything you touch.… Read the rest “A Commercial Entity”
I think it’s cute that so many of you are surprised and/or disappointed when I’m polite, pay you a compliment, or otherwise treat you like you’re a human being. It’s as if you’re nervously expecting to be attacked by a rampaging sex-ogre, but instead end up getting a pat on the head from Shrek.… Read the rest “”
A million cold cash or you never see your little angel again
Eh. Easy enough to make a new one.
Doing Right
[CONTENT ADVISORY: Don’t believe the title. The title lies.]
I’m raping you because you’re pretty. It’s important you know that.
My sister isn’t pretty. She isn’t smart, either. And she sure as fuck isn’t lucky. She’s just a normal girl– but a couple guys grabbed her anyway, right up off the street.… Read the rest “Doing Right”
On Feminism
I greatly admire Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th President of the United States. For those who are unaware, there are two basic ways to describe him.
The first relies upon your imagination: summon before your mind’s eye a single human being whose physical, behavioral, and philosophical characteristics are a composite of every positive and negative cliché that springs to mind when you read the word “American”.… Read the rest “On Feminism”
Dear Bedtime #1
Someone recently asked if I thought she should cheat on her age-appropriate boyfriend with her much-older college professor. I decided to answer her publicly for the edification of all.
Dear Aspiring Tramp:
I seldom give advice, and when I do, it should always be assumed to come with a disclaimer indicating that I’m not an authority on jack-shit.… Read the rest “Dear Bedtime #1”