how tall are | Bedtime Stories for Broken Girls

You’re so fucked up but your writing is so creative and genius that I don’t know how anybody could hate on you. P.S.. You should really go back to Mr. Blonde.

Thank you! I try not to take it too personally when people hate the blog.

My followers know I’m but a humble street magician, using a little psychic misdirection to turn shame into orgasms. But to a random person wandering up to the show and giving it a cursory glance, it looks more like some crazed asshole, juggling chainsaws with an erection.… Read the rest “You’re so fucked up but your writing is so creative and genius that I don’t know how anybody could hate on you. P.S.. You should really go back to Mr. Blonde.”

Goddamn it this shouldn’t be turning me on but I’m ridiculously hard rn …

There I go, accidentally arousing a dude.

Now I feel dirty.

Is it okay that I pretend you’re my daddy while I touch myself?

If you must… you’re thinking of the correct person while humping your hand, and that’s the important thing. If your orgasm isn’t dedicated to a man, then what’s the point in having it at all, right? But really, I don’t know about “daddy” these days.… Read the rest “Is it okay that I pretend you’re my daddy while I touch myself?”

“Delia’s Gone” – Johnny Cash

One of the most brutally violent songs of the ’90s, and yet largely ignored at the time by people who were more worried about what NWA might do to the police.

Of course, Johnny’s song does have something that most of Dre and Cube’s stuff lacked: comeuppance and remorse.

Once Upon An Asshole

The first time I did something hurtful to a girl, I was seventeen years old. That’s not necessarily the first time I hurt a girl, mind you, because I did a lot of hair-pulling and training-bra-strap-snapping in elementary school, but that was just your average boyhood sexual harassment in the ’70s.… Read the rest “Once Upon An Asshole”

I want to be your fucked up toy!!

You’re a ball with sunglasses stuck on, so in a way, you’re already a fucked up toy; there’s no way you’ll ever bounce predictably like that, but I still wouldn’t mind hitting you with a stick and sharing you with my friends.… Read the rest “I want to be your fucked up toy!!”