Okay, the big, flashing warning sign here is “From what he does to me in the bedroom…”
First, you shouldn’t need to speculate about why your guy does what he does to you. If he’s doing things that confuse, hurt, or upset you, then you should be asking him about it.… Read the rest “From what he does to me in the bedroom I think my new bf is a sexual sadist. Does this mean he’s a dangerous person or can sadists have normal relationships?”
By being a consistent version of yourself, day after day. By being emotionally stable in the midst of conflict. By listening to her fears and showing her you’ve understood them.
Assuming she wants to get over it, of course. You can do everything right and still get nowhere if she’s not ready to be vulnerable.
We’re all at fault for something, kiddo. Unless you exist in a volitional vacuum, you are a contributor to your state. But fault is never distributed evenly across the turbulent medium of relationships… owning some percentage of responsibility does not make you the center of gravity in your life’s clusterfuck.… Read the rest “I have a tendency to choose boyfriends that turn out to be more than a little unstable, besides emotional abuse I’ve even been hit a few times. It’s getting harder and harder to convince myself that I’m not at fault. Maybe my subconscious seek out men that are willing to step over the line or maybe they can see it in me? I’m asking because you are honest, what do you think?”
It sounds like the biggest problem right now is the anxiety you’re feeling about everything… so as much as no one ever listens, I must nonetheless insist you relax.
It’s not helping, labeling what could be a quirk of personality or an emotional roadblock or a physical inconvenience with terms like “weird” and “wrong”… your sex drive is not a failing.… Read the rest “I have a weird question and I’m sorry to ask you about it you…”
Do you want to fix it?
Falling out of love is actually a rather unusual reason for a relationship to end… most people reach an interpersonal breaking point long before that. Falling out of love is what people do after; that’s why we sit around for weeks or months, sorting through our misery.… Read the rest “I think I’ve fallen out of love with my boyfriend, how do I fix…”
First, for God’s sake, seek the input of someone more qualified than a creepy, transgressive writer on Tumblr. You’ve got a major problem that will require a carefully considered solution, hopefully crafted by someone experienced in navigating the complexities of a family in crisis.… Read the rest “What should I do if my girlfriend’s father is beating her? He beats her up very badly and uses very bad language.”
You mentally prepare by looking yourself in the mirror and asking, “Bitch, what are you thinking, letting this dude even contemplate making your first butt-sex a violent event?”
You’re a girl: life is going to take every opportunity to wreck you.… Read the rest “My boyfriend likes painal and I have never done anal before and I’m scared of what might happen. How do I mentally prepare?”
Okay, both of you goofy motherfuckers need to learn to laugh a little. I mean, sure, a fart can be a real mood-killer in certain circumstances —if he’d been going down on you, for example— but it might also be an entirely predictable occurrence if he’s roughly pumping objects in and out of your assorted nether-holes.… Read the rest “I accidentally farted while having anal sex with my boyfriend. He hasn’t talked to me for a day, and I’m feeling bad. How do I get him to forgive me?”
Save your nervousness… after all, you’ll need it if I do like you.
And you should give bravery a try. Sure, I might ignore you, but a girl’s gotta carpe diem if she wants me to carpe jugulum.
I recently reblogged How To Get Attention, so I won’t annoy everyone with it again. Let me instead answer with a description of the three most successful attempts so far.
