blossom | Bedtime Stories for Broken Girls

the essence of Puddles

“I… I’ll have the chicken!” said the desperate-to-impress vegetarian.

🤍 loved

I like being remembered.

it’s almost Daddy Day 🤍

On this weekend’s episode of Mythbusters, we’re going to find out what really happens if you wrestle with pigs. Will I get dirty? Will the pigs enjoy it? Will something explode? Is Canadian bacon really different?… Read the rest “”

hisblossom:

…….. I mean 🙈

Ahem.

Four days.

I think we’ll have a Hamilton-and-pizza night one night during the Gathering.

And you can cum at the end if you can answer a series of Hamilton trivia questions.

And if you can’t?… Read the rest “”

Is mr b scary irl 🫣

hisblossom:

hmmmm… yes and no (∗ᵕ̴᷄◡ᵕ̴᷅∗)՞

He flips from utterly terrifying to a snuggly goofy silly lil muffin in 0.0005 seconds

(But he’s usually still at least a bit silly even when he is being terrifying 🤭)

Anon: I’m bemused when people ask about punishments or how scary I am… It’s like they’re missing the forest ‘cause they can’t stop staring at a few spooky trees.… Read the rest “Is mr b scary irl 🫣”

hisblossom:

sometimes – if I’m feeling extra needy – I’ll ask permission to use the bathroom

I have no rules surrounding this, but sometimes that mood hits and I don’t want to so much as breathe unless he gives the go-ahead.

… Read the rest

hisblossom:

bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls:

………!!! 🥹 gold star!

Note that it was, in fact, made of cheap foil.

Are you going to be on stream again?

hisblossom:

that’s up to the big guy

although I tend to ruin things, so . I have anxiety abt it

Of course she will be.

For example, we can do an ‘80s hair metal restrospective, and she can give a nuanced take on every song and band we feature.… Read the rest “Are you going to be on stream again?”

hisblossom:

irl photo of me trying 2 get acquainted with daddy’s fav music

Since you insist on using shitty Spotify and I’m too lazy to run anything through a playlist converter, have this introductory list instead:

AC/DC: Ride On
Aerosmith: Sweet Emotion
Boston: More Than A Feeling
Led Zeppelin: Stairway To Heaven
Blue Oyster Cult: Don’t Fear The Reaper
Eagles: Hotel California
Steve Miller Band: Fly Like an Eagle
Pink Floyd: Wish You Were Here
Bob Seger: Night Moves
Van Halen: Dance the Night Away
Steely Dan: Reeling In The Years
Meatloaf: Two Outta Three Ain’t Bad
Neil Young: Heart of Gold
Creedence Clearwater Revival: Have You Ever Seen The Rain?

… Read the rest

Don’t you think it’s weird that your daddy only likes young girls?

hisblossom:

I don’t really know what to say to this, other than that you are factually and very easily provably (via his own publicly available words re: his various relationships) incorrect

Put my six primary girls together, and I’ve got 182 years worth of woman.… Read the rest “Don’t you think it’s weird that your daddy only likes young girls?”