You’re first up, and as a reward for eagerness, you’re set to receive my Deluxe Touching Package, which includes everything in the Standard Package, with amazing extras like nuzzling, heated groping, and a violent outburst of my choosing, followed by an evening of—
Aw, look at the helpful anon. And that, ladies, is service.
Her: Hey now… I’m not nothing… I’m a trashcan
Me: That’s true. Trashcans are handy to have around.
Her: I’m the handiest trashcan you’ll ever meet
Me: You make a pretty good toilet, too.
There you go, thinking outside the box again. Which suggests you should actually spend some time in a box.
Say, a sturdy, wooden box in the corner, with a couple doilies and a nice houseplant on top… maybe a couple holes drilled in the side, just so you can, I dunno, breathe or whatever.… Read the rest “”
Glowbug: You’re…… mean
Me: I’m not so mean. I just like it when you’re scared and upset. I think of that as “appreciating the whole girl.”
Glowbug: That’s the nicest way of describing really super mean
Ugh… Kik. I spend most of my time on an iPad, and Kik still hasn’t bothered to make their app universal. It kinda works in landscape, but it’s ultimately just a shitty, upsized iPhone app. I’m willing to keep it installed because people like @dumbbigtittedslut pester me on occasion, but the chances of a random stranger getting me to engage there are slim.
Yup. You can try petting it if you’re dumbbrave enough to get within arm’s reach.
me:
HA! 😏
Really, though? I’d make a shitty shark; I’m not that cold-blooded or single-minded. I’m probably closer to, I dunno… a cranky, bullying Great Dane?… Read the rest “YOU HAVE A BEARD❤️”
