How did Dolly and Glowbug get their nicknames?
I’ve never directly referred to LSB as “Dolly”… that’s just what I use when talking about her to strangers. (I’ve always used about 100 different variations on her given name when speaking to her.)… Read the rest “How did Dolly and Glowbug get their nicknames?”
Her: “He wasn’t my kind of forty year old man.”
Me: “Your kind of forty year old man is a fifty year old man.”
Me: Stupid sandman, shooting his stuff all over girls’ eyes in their sleep!
Her: …don’t sexualize the sandman! That’s like sexualizing the toothfairy or leprechauns or the Easter bunny!!
Me: Now I’m thinking about a gang-bang where a leprechaun tries to jam a pot of gold up your hoo-hah as the Easter bunny rabbit-fucks your face, knocking out a tooth that the tooth fairy pops in his mouth so he can lick it while he masturbates.… Read the rest “”
The best part about putting a camera in a girl’s home isn’t watching her fuck herself, verifying bedtime compliance, or using it to approve outfits.
It’s all the humiliating shit she does when she forgets you’re watching. It nourishes my soul.… Read the rest “Scenes From The Stupid Corner”
Her: So the guy at the shop said that, like, there’s a line on your tires, y’know? There are these indentations, see, and as you drive on the, like, the concrete or whatever, the indentations wear down to that line, and then your tire is no longer, I don’t know, legal or good or whatever.… Read the rest “”
Her: Hey now… I’m not nothing… I’m a trashcan
Me: That’s true. Trashcans are handy to have around.
Her: I’m the handiest trashcan you’ll ever meet
Me: You make a pretty good toilet, too.
Once upon a time I was walking through a park with a dumb little cunt, and when I paused to throw away a napkin, I snapped a photo of her. She noticed my movement out of the corner of her eye.… Read the rest “”
me: Hey, I admitted I made a mistake.
she: Yes, but— but then you took the mistake and you just… you turned it into another way for you to get what you want!
me: I know! Neat, huh?
The games at this carnival are rigged, and run by an awful man.… Read the rest “A Recurring Theme”
