If you had to describe yourself using lines from your favorite shows, movies, and…

If you had to describe yourself using lines from your favorite t.v shows, movies, and songs how would your story go?

“Come and listen to my story of a man named Jed, poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed…”

“When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful / A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical…”

“Revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night…”

“They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and spooky, they’re altogether ooky, the Addams family.”… Read the rest “If you had to describe yourself using lines from your favorite shows, movies, and…”

If you had to compare yourself to a comedian who would it be?

Three names spring to mind.

  1. Robin Williams. Obviously, it’s a ridiculous comparison because he was one of the most talented people who ever lived, but he was a target I aimed at as a kid. (I had almost every line of Live At The Met memorized in my teens.)
Read the rest “If you had to compare yourself to a comedian who would it be?”

If you had to compare yourself to a comedian who would it be?

If you had to compare yourself to a comedian who would it be?

Three names spring to mind.

  1. Robin Williams. Obviously, it’s a ridiculous comparison because he was one of the most talented people who ever lived, but he was a target I aimed at as a kid.
Read the rest “If you had to compare yourself to a comedian who would it be?”

I’m a guy, and I’ve been poring over your page for the past few months. I liked to think that I knew my way around words, but your stories and shorts are worlds beyond anything I could write. You have this knack for picking the exact words to describe a particular sentiment or thought, and I aspire to that. I guess my question is, did you start out this good at writing? If not, what kind of practice did you have?

The first thing I remember writing was in third-grade. We were told to write a story over the weekend… come Monday, everyone dutifully brought in a paragraph about their dogs or their little brothers, and I showed up with five pages of super-villain melodrama that was just coherent enough to excite grown-ups.… Read the rest “I’m a guy, and I’ve been poring over your page for the past few months. I liked to think that I knew my way around words, but your stories and shorts are worlds beyond anything I could write. You have this knack for picking the exact words to describe a particular sentiment or thought, and I aspire to that. I guess my question is, did you start out this good at writing? If not, what kind of practice did you have?”

I’m a guy, and I’ve been poring over your page for the past few…

I’m a guy, and I’ve been poring over your page for the past few months. I liked to think that I knew my way around words, but your stories and shorts are worlds beyond anything I could write. You have this knack for picking the exact words to describe a particular sentiment or thought, and I aspire to that.… Read the rest “I’m a guy, and I’ve been poring over your page for the past few…”

you posted an ask at one point about what a day with you would look like, it was my favourite thing on your blog but I can’t find it, did you take it down?

It’s still there… I’ll reblog it in a sec.

That was a great week. I got to see a part of the country I’d never visited, had the best pizza I will ever have, watched Moana, froze my ass off on a pier, spent a pleasantly crisp autumn afternoon in an aggressively quaint town while the girl-folk shopped nearby, repeatedly kicked a cunt in the cooch… we made the most of it, is what I’m saying.

Tumblr just informed me that today is Bedtime Stories’ sixth birthday. In terms of sex blogs run by mean old men, that’s, like, a century. And if it feels forever to me, it must feel even more so to some of you… some of you little freaks have been with me your entire adult lives, through all my moods.… Read the rest “”