Do you look anything like your pfp?
(submitted by: Anonymous)
Not even vaguely. But Glowbug thinks I look slightly like this:
…while Peanut thinks I look like this:
Oh, and I once had someone randomly say I looked like this:
And of course, to Blossom, I’m just…
UPDATE: I left off Piglet’s suggestion, because frankly it depresses me to look like Ellsworth, the Debbie Downer of Deadwood.… Read the rest “Do you look anything like your pfp?”
Non, I want to be your favorite 😭🧚🏼♀️✨
(submitted by: Anonymous)
Nothing whines like a needy French whore. 🙄
If you want to be the favorite, you know what to do: be prettier, funnier, more loving, and more obedient than the others.… Read the rest “Non, I want to be your favorite 🧚️”
I’d rather you be scared of what I will do to keep you, than be scared of me tossing you aside.
See? Even when I’m terrorizing you, I’m looking out for you.
Peanut: I think it’s so cute that a man your age references Clueless!
Me: …what? Bitch, Paul Rudd is actually a little bit older than me!
Me (internally): As if!
It’s the little surprises that keep the magic alive.
Self-watering vegetables.
