Where do you begin to find someone willing to do things like shove your head in a bathtub and explain how everything you are is wrong and pathetic. Seems like whispering to every guy you’re interested how fucked up you are and if they’re curious enough to see is not the way to go (according to social norms). But if you’re willing to put in the effort but don’t know where to put it… what can you do?

Personal experience suggests your best bet is to find an awful man online somewhere, one who speaks to both the disgusting little mess you are and the good girl you aspire to be.

Then cling to him like he’s the only thing that matters.… Read the rest “Where do you begin to find someone willing to do things like shove your head in a bathtub and explain how everything you are is wrong and pathetic. Seems like whispering to every guy you’re interested how fucked up you are and if they’re curious enough to see is not the way to go (according to social norms). But if you’re willing to put in the effort but don’t know where to put it… what can you do?”

Why oh why do I have some kind of disgusting fantasy about being taken advantage of while drunk? I wanna be a hot mess and let somebody fuck me up while I’m wasted ☹️☹️☹️

The obvious answer is that it’s easier to behave like the easily-punctured sexual garbage bag you are when your brain and self-awareness are drowning slowly in a whimsical White Claw marinade.

The more subtle answer is that your pussy can’t respect a man until he’s had a chance to prove he can’t be trusted.

How are you so sweet yet so horrible at the same time?

You know how some people become such fans of a thing that they obsessively learn everything about it, even its flaws? And then they go off to art school somewhere and learn to deconstruct the thing they love, tearing it apart and looking at it critically so they can create something new from the carcass they’ve dissected?… Read the rest “How are you so sweet yet so horrible at the same time?”