On Being Gross

Girls often worry about their obvious desperation, their runaway fears, all their pathetic yearning… that sort of thing. And for good reason; it can feel oppressive to people, the constant weight of all their fucking need.

But turns out, neediness and insecurity are only gross when you feel obligated to feed someone’s neediness and assuage her insecurity.… Read the rest “On Being Gross”

It’s the little things that kill…

I’ll never stop loving the fact that something this trivial absolutely fucking terrifies some otherwise badass bitches. The incongruity is delicious.

“Cut me, Daddy! Throw me down a flight of stairs! Punch me in the face, punch a baby into me, and then punch my code into the ATM so we can buy some Plan B and a cold compress!… Read the rest “It’s the little things that kill…”

Under Construction

Anything could happen, between the two of us. Everything. Nothing. It’s hard to say, and day-to-day. But whatever becomes of us, I want you to go on.

I want you to ache for me throughout a long, long life. I want you to write old-fashioned, pressed-flower-filled letters to me after I’m dead and you still have so many years left.… Read the rest “Under Construction”

I wish you could destroy me. I’m pretty useless otherwise….

I’m not a Millennial-hater; I think most of them are decent people with shitty parents, who had even shittier parents of their own. (It’s shit all the way down, really.)

But among the handful of things within Millennial culture that I genuinely despise, there are those YouTube videos where a few jackasses take an expensive, fully-functional, in-demand piece of technology out into a field and go full-on Office Space on it, just because they’re wealthy enough to not give a fuck.… Read the rest “I wish you could destroy me. I’m pretty useless otherwise….”