Tag: thoughts

I have thoughts and vague attempts at commiseration, but not much in the way of advice.

I was most definitely hyper-sexual until I hit my late 20s, but I’ve never been sex-repulsed; while I grew up deeper in #metoo territory than I’d like to admit, I was spared that particular outcome.… Read the rest “Have you got any advice for someone who goes through phases of being hyper sexual and sex repulsed due to past abuse? I feel like I’m super pathetic and needy but sometimes I just don’t want to be touched sexually and still degraded? Idk I feel like there’s something wrong with me. I thought I’d be best to say this anonymously because I’m embarrassed about it”

Any secret solace can start to look like self-harm, if that’s your favored frame. With that said, getting wet is your body’s automated response to sexual stimulus, and you’ve become acclimated to a world full of fucked-up stimuli; you chose neither world nor response, so if there’s harm in this equation, it’s been done to you, not by you.… Read the rest “Nothing makes me wetter than a guy confirming all the fears in my head and telling me how I’ll never be what I dream about… but is this just self harm?”

“A mess” is exactly how you should feel after spending time with me. But be careful around here, kiddo; you’ve followed me into a minefield, and I’d hate to see pieces of you go flying because you weren’t conscientious with your steps.… Read the rest “So, my ex recently ended our almost two year relationship and weirdly enough I’m actually not that sad.. Anyway I don’t know how I came across your blog,but I’m both horrified & emotionally confused with the way I’m getting off on your perverted thoughts??? I’ve only just turned 19 and never had sex but all of a sudden I have this need to. It feels like being in that relationship has almost suppressed my sexual desires? I have zero clue what to do with these new emotions. I’m an actual mess lol.”

You say that as if “explaining why” should be easy, and as if those ten years weren’t the blink of an eye. Your inner world is an uncharted wilderness, and navigating it the task of a lifetime; like a photon escaping the core of the sun, dispatches from the interior take their own sweet time reaching those of us on the outside.… Read the rest “It’s been ten years and I can’t explain to him why I love this. Why I need it. How do you do you hit these buttons so damn well?”

I can confirm that I’m 1/16th silly on my mother’s side. But I’m not really all that scary, at least not in the usual Horrible Man Who Wants To Abuse You kind of way.

Nah, my brand of scary is more like a spotlight, designed to shine into the ill-lit corners of your nasty little mind and make it easy to see all the disgusting things that inhabit them.… Read the rest “I think you’re a silly, but you scare me and make my lady bits tingle.”