Since it’s now clear that the US presidency is open to any misanthropic weirdo with a core constituency of broken, backwards fuck-ups who don’t understand how life works, I’m thinking about running myself in 2020. I’m quite confident that I could pull in the Angry White Male vote without resorting to racial division, international antagonism, or putting my name on any buildings.… Read the rest “”
Tag: thoughts
This crazy iMessage app lets you prank friends by putting words in their mouth
This crazy iMessage app lets you prank friends by putting words in their mouth
TL;DR: Some genius has pioneered gaslighting via instant messaging. Making an iMessage sticker pack is relatively trivial, so using his technique, it wouldn’t take much to go through old conversations with someone and quietly edit things so it reads completely differently than she remembers.
Debate Summary
Trump: Garble gibble blather blibble and– which you should know was amazing, and I’m very proud, very proud– durh hurh blrh confused coke-fiend sniff grimace period, end of story.
Hillary: Don’t say “fuck you”, don’t say “fuck you”, don’t say “fuck you.”
I just realized it’s been almost two years since I last made a girl cry.
That, ladies, is some straight-up bullshit.
As with most things, alcoholism looks more interesting in the movies. Now that I’ve seen it up close, turns out it’s all gangrene and amputated toes.
In retrospect, being a giant pussy who hates the taste of booze was perhaps a lucky break on my part.
I just wanna be your everything.
So you can be my nothing.
I often struggle to succinctly describe my personal cocktail of towering self-regard and bitter self-loathing. But I think I’ve come up with something:
My ego is the Death Star, adrift in a galaxy full of shifty-looking Skywalkers.
does it turn you on to sexually manipulate women
Interesting question. The prima facie answer is, simply enough, “duh.” But I think the truth is closer to “I enjoy manipulating women emotionally, and reaping the sexual rewards that naturally follow.”
In other news, men use words to get into girls’ pants.… Read the rest “does it turn you on to sexually manipulate women”
Dear Bedtime #3
Had a dream last night you were spanking me with a hairbrush. I asked if this counts as cheating on my boyfriend and you said no. I said: “keep the jeans on, that way it doesn’t count as cheating”.
Silly boyfriends.… Read the rest “Dear Bedtime #3”
“Good Girl”
If you’re not hearing it, you’re not being it.