A round of miniature golf still makes for a great first date.
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You’re gonna have to sell that couch.
Evolution
It’s like a chimp in a tuxedo, only the teeth aren’t as scary.
And the chimp is more evolved.
Pretty sure this shouldn’t be arousing…
Pretty sure that shouldn’t is part of why it is.
You deserve all the pain your ass can absorb, just for wearing those ridiculous shoes. As soon as we’re done here, we’re going to the home of which ever girlfriend assured you they were cute, and I’m going to hold her while you slap the shit out of her for being a bad friend.
Triggering her is the easy part; the trick is in aiming her at something interesting and keeping your grip on her butt.
I love you as the sun loves the skin it burns, or the darkness, the sin it hides. You are the bones within my feast, and I’ll pick my teeth with you before I’m through.
The scary thing about a roller-coaster isn’t the dizzying speed, the sudden turns, or even the steep drops. It’s knowing you’ve said “yes” to something you can’t stop.
Scream, cry, beg, pray… it doesn’t matter. No one will hear you, or care if they do.… Read the rest “”
It’s so sweet when they can no longer feel the difference between love and hate.
Don’t take that to heart, dummies; never let anyone pressure you into thinking you can’t be cute just because you’re an idiot. I’ve known a number of sweet little simpletons, and they deserve to be slapped around and choke-fucked just as hard as girls who know how to do long division.