Her: So the guy at the shop said that, like, there’s a line on your tires, y’know? There are these indentations, see, and as you drive on the, like, the concrete or whatever, the indentations wear down to that line, and then your tire is no longer, I don’t know, legal or good or whatever. D’you know what I mean?

Me: …

Her: Hello?

Me: …

Her: Are you there…?

Me: …

Me: [sigh]

Me: So you’re trying to say your tires are bald.

Her: Yeah! That’s what he called it!

Me: You’re a college graduate, and the American educational system is a sham.