Grab a drink and take a seat, this is a long one.
In hindsight, I think I was born kinky. Or at the very least, born with the personality traits that lend itself to being kinky. I remember loving to play damsel in distress. The first time I was tied up, it was with jump rope and I was around 9. It gave me a thrill that stuck with me for a very long time. In my tweens and teens, I would swoon over classic films that had some sort of power struggle between the love interests, especially when the female was strong and had to be broken or put in her place.
I don’t know exactly when or how, but at some point, I became aware of BDSM. I think the horror film, Waxwork definitely tipped me off to it all. There was a fictionalized version of de Sade in it and I found bits of it a huge turn on. By 14, I was checking de Sade out from the library. I read 120 Days of Sodom and found bits of it scintillating but most of it was appalling.
Secretary was the first time I found a version of BDSM that I could relate to, that felt almost normal and healthy. The Mister and I started to dabble in it without any real discussion or goals.
All of that was the foundation for me, but it wasn’t until I joined Second Life and started to explore, that I truly realized what I was.
Holy shit, more of my peer group showed up. 👋
So, just yesterday I was telling someone about Waxwork, and how it tweaked my brain. It wasn’t the first time I thought about coercive, controlling sex, but it was the first time I thought about violent, coercive, controlling sex.
And I mean… it was Deborah Foreman! Valley Girl was getting her back whipped by de Sade! And the bitch was in to it! And proto-Bobby Briggs was being hunted by werewolves! Hot sluts were being fed People Tartare! It had it all really. Except production value, a script, or a reason to exist beyond Deborah’s titties.
Still worth it.