This… Is BGNN

Things you might want to know, for Mar 31, 2023:

• ‘Scott Pilgrim’ is coming back as a cartoon with the film’s entire cast — I want to say “GREAT NEWS!!!” but I’m still waiting for that long-promised King of the Hill restart, so it’s better not to get my hopes up.
• Burrito snares suspected bomber of anti-abortion group — I’m glad they busted the little prick. I don’t want terrorists on my side.
• Drew Carey made a radio show with AI. Fans weren’t pleased. — If he’d waited a year to try his little on-air experiment, it’s possible no one would have noticed.
• A Carl Sagan documentary is coming from Nat Geo & Seth MacFarlane — It’s depressing to know that the leading light in broadcast science information these days is the guy whose heretofore greatest cultural contribution has been a murderous talking baby.
• ‘Lust, Desire, and Excess’: New Doc Explores the Everlasting Legacy of Yello’s ‘Oh Yeah’ — I can’t tell you how omnipresent that song became for a few years in the ‘80s. Or maybe I can. Just think of how many times you’ve heard Hans Zimmer’s Inception “BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM”… it was overused to a similar extent.

• Scientists May Have Found an ‘Ultramassive Black Hole’ With a Mass of 30 Billion Suns
• I Tested 13 Bidets. I’m a Convert. — I’ve never used a bidet, but the day one of them arrives in my bathroom, I will use it without hesitation. If my butt is gonna be wiped, it should be done with a girl’s tongue, not Charmin.
• Disney: 1, Ron DeSantis: 0 — Another depressing blessing… corporate power is now one of the few checks-and-balances still functioning in our national system.
• Love in Paradise Season 3 Cast Revealed! Lidia Looks for Love — Whatever poor bastard has decided to hitch his wagon to Lidia’s star is in for a helluva ride.
• One in ten Britons pull their own teeth, fill cavities, or do other DIY dental work on themselves — This would be weirdly impressive if they were actually good at it.

• Nobunaga’s Ambition: Awakening Announced for PC, PS4 and Nintendo Switch — The NES versions of Nobunaga’s Ambition, Genghis Khan, and Bandit Kings of Ancient China consumed more hours of my teenaged life than anything but Ultima during the ‘80s. But I’m not sure I have the patience for the whole thing now.
• Swarm isn’t a love letter to Black women. It’s hate mail. — I have no coherent opinions about Donald Glover at this point. I loved him on Community, hated his attempts at stand-up, was disappointed by his Lando, and found Childish Gambino’s music to be good but not great. So I’m content to let everyone else judge him.
• Cup Noodles’ new ramen flavor puts your breakfast cravings into a cup — No. Nope. Nah.
• Why are movies so dark these days? — TL;DR: because DPs are lighting and shooting for reference monitors, while actual LCD TVs in the wild are routinely set to make a mess of all those careful decisions.