The Daily Dad

Things you might want to know, for May 15, 2023:

Sean Gunn is done playing Rocket in Guardians of the Galaxy (but Kraglin is another story) — Rocket can go fuck Kraglin, for all I care… Sean Gunn is Kirk from Stars Hollow, end of story. (I looked it up… I always thought it was “Star’s Hollow”. It isn’t.)
My Hookup Was Going Great. Then “The Slap” Happened.
The era of 100GB games is upon us, and the average PC gamer is underprepared — Meanwhile, Nintendo has Zelda down to a tight and supple 16Gb, running on the technical equivalent of three rubber bands and a hamster wheel.
New demon catshark species discovered off coast of Western Australia — Because shark.
Side of beef in Arby’s freezer… was something much worse — But was it? Was it really worse?

Is Seinfeld’s Elaine Benes canonically hot? — To answer: yes, she is. Just as importantly, Elaine and Jerry both think they’re hot. (Jerry’s track record of pulling fine pieces of ass definitely outstrips Elaine’s collection of old, off-putting, or poor dudes, so if she’s in fact hot as I believe, it’s significantly less so than Jerry.) Kramer is beyond question, especially when he has both The Jacket and The Kavorka. Meanwhile, George just wants someone who will watch him eat garbage and still let him touch her.
EXCLUSIVE: Brave 13-year-old girl fights off shark during attack at Florida beach — Because fucking asshole sharks.
South Las Vegas residents complain of alleged ‘sex club’ taking over neighborhood — Alternate title: “South Las Vegas neighbors don’t receive discounts or invites, decide to be bitches about it”
My AI Girlfriend Charges $1/Minute and Only Wants to Talk About Sex — Optimistic take: the history of incels will be brief… AI girlfriends will provide enough intimacy to keep a significant number of boys from developing that particular variant of entitled resentment. Pessimistic take: the Optimistic Take happens, and they all transition into woman-hating dweebs who now resent everything female for not being as perfect and compliant as their multitasking girlfriend, SIMantha 4.6.
How wood-scanning tech is taking the guesswork out of aging bourbon