All I want in this world is to be treated like a dumb little child and constantly be patronized, talked down to and babied
Why yes, dear, that’s a lovely anniversary card you’ve made for me! I mean, you could have just bought me something I’d enjoy, like a normal person with a credit card, but you decided that hand-made gifts are “more special”. I just *love* how “creative” you are! Just knowing you spent entire *minutes* on this tells me how much you really care.
Oh, I’m sorry. Are you crying now? Poor thing! Why don’t you come over here, sit in my lap, and I’ll try to make you feel better about disappointing me…