Omg you’re a super nice man (ermmmmm sorry jk he’s a monster of course) and you have one of the best minds ever! Your stories are my favorite and your blog is so unique and perfect and it always makes me shiver and drip and I love it! 10/10 would live in your basement as a prisoner sex dolly!
Basement? What a waste of a girafficorn!
No, I’d much rather take you out in public, introduce you to people as my new European step-daughter who no-speak-English-good, and then sit around casually insulting you in front of them. When they offer resistance, I’ll assure them you have no idea what I’m saying, and I’m just fooling around. Then, because most people are bad people if you talk to them just right, they’ll laugh and let me keep going. Before it’s over, they’ll join in. It’ll make you sad for humanity, but a mess between your legs… so, you know, the usual.
Just don’t break character, okay? ‘Cause then we’ll have to go outside, where we can explore breaking things together.