Of course you deserve it, dear. I believe you.
But why on earth would I want you to no longer feel pain? Hell, why would I want you to be devoid of any feeling of any kind? (Including emptiness, on occasion.) What the fuck good are you if you can’t feel what I want you to feel, when I want you to feel it?
I’m of the mind that you should feel everything.
And yeah, I know, you’re a weird little fuck-up, and you already think you feel too much. That’s just wrong-headed. (No surprise there.) You don’t feel too much, ya silly cunt… you just feel improperly. You experience emotion like a newborn moron, or a mildly brain damaged golden lab. You flow instinctively —and thus erratically— from one emotional state to the next, with no rhyme nor reason, and blame this on the emotions themselves, rather than your lackluster management of same.
Your life should be rich with sensation, with highs and lows and hidden melodies only we can hear. A girl is an instrument to be played, after all, even if she’s little more than a dollar store kazoo.