Why is it, that more than anything I would like to be punched in the face and degraded by a mean big dad but on the other hand I have never met a man who I think would do that, I want to see men as the authority but I just can’t, I’m so much mentally stronger that men just amuse me most of the time. Sorry for the horrific grammar, english is not first language.

First, your English seems pretty solid to me. Good job.

Second, I’m afraid you’re gonna discover that anyone with an ego inflated sufficiently to overwhelm your own will never give you the time of day. They’re not going to expend effort trying to impress the means to their ends… it would be like cutting the grass in a zig-zag pattern just to amuse your lawnmower. So I’m not surprised that you find yourself surrounded by disappointments.

It may not sound like it, but I’m honestly sympathetic. You’re stuck in the Uncanny Valley of Female Submission… you yearn to be laid low, but it’s difficult to look at men and conclude that they deserve to put you there. Fortunately, there is a bright side.

You only need to find one.