Everything seemed great until he mentioned he’s polyamorous, but I’m not supposed to be? He’s allowed to have as many partners as he wants, but I’m only supposed to be with him. This feels wrong and I’m not okay with it. Other than that, I really like him. But I think this should be a dealbreaker.
Anyone who approaches me knows —or quickly learns— that she will never be more than a single piece in my puzzle, while her devotion to me will be complete.[1] In my world, that’s all built in to the conversation from the outset, so I’m a bit surprised it took a month for him to bring it up.
To me, springing it on you suggests he thinks it’s easy to be someone’s romantic/sexual/spiritual disciple —I assure you, it is not— or he just threw it into the conversational gumbo on a whim, hoping you’d bite and he’d get to bang his ex the next time he sees her.
If he’s a man like me, you need to heed your instinct and walk away now. You’ll be unhappy being part of a collective, and you’ll make life difficult for him… it’s a lose-lose for a submissive girl. If he’s just a horny dumbass, on the other hand, it might be worth it to simply give him a firm no, establish a boundary, and see if he backpedals… you may find that his erection had more ambition than the rest of him.
1. The standards between us will always be double, and her ceilings will always be Gorilla Glass. We are not the same.