I’ve been back for a very short while and I’m already addicted to your blog again, I wish I could watch your live streams live but we live in drastically different time zones.
I’m working towards something that has felt so unattainable for so very long, but I’m over halfway now, and I can’t believe it. I also can’t believe I still haven’t found anyone who is at least a little of what I need. I feel extremely lost without any semblance of servitude.
I go to my job and I deal with important things all day, I go to important meetings and make important phonecalls. I want to be able to come home to no responsibility for my own thoughts, to have someone else dictate those to me rather than me dictate to them.
I always convince myself I’ll message you ‘this time’, and I never do. I never do with good reason. I know I’m not good enough for you yet. I’m working on my body and mind. When they’re both fitter, I’ve promised myself I will message you. I thought you should know you’ve inspired me to make the best girl out of myself without even really knowing me.
(submitted by: Anonymous)
Greetings, little proselyte! I do the occasional impromptu streams at different hours, but yeah, it’s tough to routinely do them at a time that accommodates those on the far side of either pond.
I’m proud of you for making progress toward your goals. But yeah, as your understanding of your own needs becomes more complete, finding someone worthy of all that progress can be disheartening.
You’re not lost, though. You’re very actively finding things, from what I can see. As lonely as it can feel right now, you’re saving yourself lots of pointless frustration at the hands of men who won’t appreciate all you’re trying to become.
And when you’re ready for “this time” to become “today”, let me know.