my boyfriend’s birthday is coming up. i want to do something super sexy for him! your creative, got any ideas?
(submitted by: Anonymous)
Hm. Let’s see.
- Find him someone prettier to fuck.
- Pawn the heirlooms your grandmother left you, fly with him to Vegas, and beg him to bet it all on a single hand.
- Tell him that thing you swore you’d never tell anyone. Get on your knees and plead with him to keep loving you anyway.
- Fuck him raw, then fuck the law.
- Think about the thing he’s done that hurt you the most. Encourage him to do it again. And thank him this time.
- A new Xbox wouldn’t hurt.