Questions and Answers

My partner and I are trying to come up with a safe word but…

My partner and I are trying to come up with a safe word but everything we can think of seem really silly or don’t feel right. Any suggestions on how to come up with one?

(submitted by: Anonymous)

As I’ve mentioned many times, my safeword solution is simple and frictionless… their safeword is my name. They’re forbidden to use it in any other context, so any time I hear my name, it instantly grabs my attention. And when in distress, my name is the most natural way to call for me.

Whatever you choose, keep it simple… something you would naturally say if you’re in trouble, but won’t say in any other context. If it helps, pick a word and give it up for the relationship. Something like “help”… burn the word on a pyre and henceforth resolve to ask for “assistance” and “support” and “guidance” throughout your life, and save “help” for the one use that invests it with the most meaning.

If you do it right, having a safeword is kinkier than not.