i want the man im fucking to be more like you. say the things you do and treat me how you treat cunts. he’s almost there, sometimes he says things that are right on track, but not quite, and it feels like the worst edging session of my life. he gets me off better than anyone else ever has but I feel like im just missing that ONE thing and i can’t put my finger on it. i need him to treat me more like im useless, stupid, small, dumb, all of that, i basically wish he was you. i wish i knew how to communicate this to him. “hey, go look at this blog, and act exactly like this man.” absolutely not.
(submitted by: Anonymous)
You are quite correct: “I want you to be that guy over there” will not get you anywhere. But showing him what you really want is seldom a bad idea.
RE: ONE thing
My guess about the missing bit? You want it to feel real. He can say all the right words and get you off in bed, but it’s not going to work around the rest of the house if you don’t feel like he means it. You need more than a guy who’s working through a checklist of your favorite insults and threats… when he calls you a half-witted cunt, he has to mean it in order for you to feel it.
You need more than a pejorative pantomime. Of course, you also need more than an angry, demanding asshole.
No one said being a girl was gonna be easy.
FWIW, I’m aware of three ways in which the blog has been shared among partners.
- As a filter… a girl shows her new guy the blog, and waits to see if he has a mature, balanced, thoughtful reaction to it. If he’s freaked out, or intimidated, or a little too eager… red flag.
- As a vocabulary builder… lots of girls —including you, apparently— struggle with communicating the nuances of their desires. (And if I’m your ideal, your desires are both blatantly and subtly complicated.) The blog is in no way A Guide to Doing This Shit, but it can give two people the basis for an evolving conversation.
- As a means of seduction… a guy will send his girl a link to one of my stories or essays, hoping that she’ll get worked up and beg him for something similar. Which is great for him when it works out, and great for me when they break up and she comes scratching at my door, begging for the real thing.