Questions and Answers

What is your opinion on the silent treatment as a punishment?

What is your opinion on the silent treatment as a punishment?

(submitted by: Anonymous)

I don’t like punishment in general; it’s just not my vibe. My idea of “punishment” is a stern talking-to, and I seldom have a need for more.

I mean, I’m not even sure that I see those two concepts —“the silent treatment” and punishment— the way most folks do. To me:

  • “Punishment” is a corrective or ameliorating consequence. It’s not hot or fun or something I plan with Machiavellian glee… if I’m correcting someone, then they’ve really let me down and fucked something up. I’m sad, not horny.
  • I’ve never used it —I’m a compulsive talker-outer— but to me, “the silent treatment” would be telling someone to shut the fuck up and leave me alone for a few days. Which would be a weird punishment coming from me, ‘cause (a) I get my way with words, not silence, and (b) I can tell my girls to shut the fuck up and leave me alone any time I like… I don’t need to make them wrong to justify the silence. If I want it, I can have it.

With that said, could the silent treatment be used —in some extremely specific, edge-casey way— to effectively punish someone? Probably.

But in the circumstances where I’ve seen TST deployed as a punishment, it has generally turned out to be an avoidance strategy in disguise. When a dom can’t explain his reasoning in a way that would meet the analytical standards of a horny thirteen year old boy, cutting off contact starts to look like a compelling solution to his problems. Which makes sense, ‘cause we already know he thinks like a twelve year old.

As I always remind girls: don’t fuck with men who can’t outsmart you. If he needs a breather in the midst of conflict, then you need a new guy.