Aftercare isn’t about kindness, love, and that sort of goopy shit. It’s not a chore or a to-do item on a checklist that you need to tick off in order to Do The Right Thing. I know that’s how the kink community likes to frame it, and hey, that framing may work for you… awesome.… Read the rest “Cranky Old Man Shit: Aftercare”
Once upon a time, while watching a nature documentary, I was struck by the sight of a wolf pack hunting caribou. Running at full speed, the pack seamlessly split in two, flanking the herd and ensuring the evening’s feast. The way they coordinated their work demonstrated to me the primitive, nasty intelligence built into the prey drive… at will and without a word, these wild animals organized into a highly efficient, motivated, and ruthless team.… Read the rest “Pussy Grabbing Old Man Shit: Trump”
This crazy iMessage app lets you prank friends by putting words in their mouth
TL;DR: Some genius has pioneered gaslighting via instant messaging. Making an iMessage sticker pack is relatively trivial, so using his technique, it wouldn’t take much to go through old conversations with someone and quietly edit things so it reads completely differently than she remembers.
dumbbigtittedslut-deactivated20:
I wish I was. All the best slags are British.
Don’t talk like that. Our sluts may not have a slag’s Old World charm and millennium of bad breeding, but no one works harder at whoring than the good ol’ North American skank.
(I realize that many of you are emotional dunces, and don’t have the first clue how to talk coherently with any adult male, much less one who scares you a little. So I figured I’d start compiling a series of helpful tips that will make our interactions as painless as possible.… Read the rest “A Guide To Cranky Old Men #1”
Okay Xkit, you and I are officially over. You have mangled a post for the last time. and now we are sworn enemies. Have at thee!
UPDATE: I’m talking Xkit for iPad, which I damned well know is abandonware, and have bitched about before, but have persisted in using because my finicky ass prefers a full-screen activity log to the official Tumblr app’s teeny little pop-up.… Read the rest “Clunky Old Software Shit”
I’m copying ideas? From “him”? Oh, thank god! You have no clue how relieved I am to hear that. Please forward the following note on my behalf.
Dear Dude From Whom My Ideas Spring:
What’s your deal, you lazy motherfucker? I haven’t written shit in months, and assumed that was my fault; I figured depression had finally wrecked what passed for my creative process.… Read the rest “Your blog is pathetic and its obvious who you’re copying your ideas from. You’ll never compare to him 😂”
Of course I like you broken. You all go through *so* much bullshit as women, with life slowly molding you into creepy little emotional athletes; by the time you get to me, you’re finely tuned fuck-up-machines who need the right kind of man to work you out and keep your twisted minds spinning in place.… Read the rest “Do you like us girls broken?”
From my asks: “Who’s prettier? ______, ______, or ______?”
Fuck off with that.
I enjoy picking on celebrities from afar, so I’ll play along with asks about who’s hot and who’s not; for your entertainment, I’m willing to channel my more articulate version of Drunken Stepfather and talk all kinds of trash about wealthy and powerful people.… Read the rest “Cranky Old Man Shit: Comparisons”
Because I am a golden god, forge-birthed in the heart of a galaxy long dead, sent by All-Father Particle and Mother Wave to bless you with the cosmic experience of my incandescent glory… from a safe and reasonable distance. To touch me would be a death too exquisite for description, too lingering for comprehension, and too likely to drive up my insurance rates.… Read the rest “Why are you unobtainable ?”
